I’ve been a bit wrung out these days, my to-do list just won’t get shorter, my sleep is off, the short days and early dark – you know what I mean – I’m out of whack, I’m in disequilibrium. So where the mind goes so goes the body and a few weeks ago I bent to zip my zipper or tie my shoe or something else innocuous – there was a loud pop in my neck and my range of motion stopped at about twenty-five degrees each way. Ok fine universe, I’ll do some stretching, etc and keep on going. Well let me tell you the universe did not abide, so last week after a regular teeth cleaning (nothing unusual) my jaw slipped out of gear just like the clutch going out in your car but this came with gnawing pain with every chew and my bite out of alignment….. OK, OK universe I get it – STOP – I added “take care of self” to my to-do list. There was a masseuse right here at the Ranch for the week – nothing was stopping me. So today (just hours ago in fact) I got an amazing massage!
I scheduled a 90-minute massage instead of just 60 minutes (a splurge I have never allowed myself), I told my masseuse of my woes and she got to work, she dug and pressed and smoothed every inch of me with her hot angel hands. While I was on the table an image of a strong, fierce, determined angel wringing out laundry along the Ganges came to mind. The masseuse was the angel, of course, and I the laundry, the pouring rain outside played the part of the mighty holy Ganges River. After almost 2 hours she left me – set out to dry in the tree branches along the riverbank. Neck is moving to 35 degrees each way now (not perfect – but better), jaw thinking about getting back to work (maybe a few more days). Thank you universe for reminding me to take care of myself – but next time can you just send me a text?
So here is your reminder before it’s too late- make time for yourself in the midst of your all your busy!
PS – Thanks Angel Anya for your strong hands and open heart!
This week I have been in deep seeking mode. The early rains, the cold mornings tell me it’s time – golden chanterelle time that is. So each morning this week I have put on my rubber boots and grabbed my mushroom kit (a knife to cut the mushroom off below the dirt, a natural bristle brush to whisk off the dirt and a bag) and set off. These scrumptious beauties like to rise up in the deep leafy duff below the oak trees, blackberry bramble and poison oak spouts so this effort is not for the weak I tell you. These past drought years there haven’t been any chanterelles (at least that I could find) but this year I was heartened to see lots of fungi sprouting so shouldn’t the chanterelles arrive too. But each brisk morning I have been disappointed, bright orange, brown, black and white caps of other mushrooms have revealed themselves but not my tasty treasure. So this morning, like the others, I donned my boots and grabbed my bag – keeping my eyes low scanning the ground under the trees. As I walked up the back driveway, here at the Ranch, the open pasture to the north sparkled in the early morning light and the bright sun filled the grassy bowl. My head lifted and I forgot my mission, the sun so inviting, I was enticed to climb the hill to the open ridge. When I reached the top my heart pumping, my thighs burning and my lungs filled with the cold, crisp December air I turned to the sun in the east and stretched out my arms I stood a long while in that warm embrace, then turned back towards home, chanterelle forgotten but satisfied just the same.
Like my search for the mushrooms when I started this painting I was seeking one thing then found another. This image of a man releasing a bird came to me soon after my dad died and it seemed to encapsulate some of my feelings of his death days, so I did some sketches and then asked my son to pose for me so I could create the silhouette from my minds eye. This painting did not come easy, not spiritually per say, but technically I had all kinds of mishaps with paints and spills and goopy varnish that would dry that had to be carefully scrap and sanded off, I wrestled and cajoled and tended this painting to it’s finish. As I worked the painting the meaning shifted, and what I thought was about setting my Dad free, it became more about my relationship with my son and setting that free, trying to find new ground in the parent to adult child relationship.
So this was a long winding way to say – keep seeking just be ready to find something you’re not looking for!
Here is a peek at my studio sale today and tomorrow – if you are in Sonoma County stop by INFO
PS if you kept reading this far well good for you – here is A GIFT FOR YOU! It’s a link to one of my recent paintings you can print out to have even if you can’t come to my studio!
In my last post I shared with you some of the pieces I did inspired by the phrase “peace be with you”. As the week went on that became something of a mantra. I kept cutting and stitching and reflecting the idea in different ways, until a series emerged. Some time while I was working the Sheryl Crow song, “Peace Be Upon Us” kept tunneling through my brain not so much an ear worm as is sometimes the case when songs won’t leave you alone, no this song wove itself into my Peace series lifting and lilting like a hawk on an up draft. I found myself humming at my sewing machine making my efforts into something of a meditation on peace as well as a creative endeavor. I want you to get a sense of my mental space so click this link to get this lovely addiction wandering in your brain too! PEACE BE UPON US ALL – Sheryl Crow listen to the whole song I think you might me humming this through your week – and if your going to have a song stuck in your head well, I think one about peace is a good way to go.
I’ve got a few more pieces to show you from this series- I want to spread the peace around a little bit!
PEACE be with you….peace BE with you….BE peace….peace be with YOU….this phrase with all it’s possible inflections has been rolling around my head since last Sunday when I went to our regular episcopal church service here at The Bishop’s Ranch. As is the custom of this service there were several readings and then the congregation can share thier reflections. There are a lot of wise and wonderful people who come regularly to the service so I almost always get a little gem to take home with me to reflect on. Last weeks readings talked about Jesus coming to the disciples walking with them, eating with them and talking with them. These are the same guys who just a few weeks before had betrayed and abandon Jesus in his darkest hour. Pat Moore, the Ranch chaplain, reflected on the fact that in each encounter with these scardy-cat disciples Jesus says “Peace be with you”. No anger or accusation, no demand for repenting or apology just “Peace be with you”. And if you really think about that simple phase there is a lot packed in. It seems to me to be a universal message, no matter ones religious affiliation or lack there of. If we can find peace in our mind, our life, our relationships and if we can truly greet one another with an expression of peace in our hearts, well I think the world would be a better place. So as I left church with that refrain reframed in my mind I went down to my studio and got busy. I spread out some muslin and organza and tulle outside on some tables. I pulled out some stencils and stamps; spray paint and inks and began creating with peace in my heart and nothing but experimenting in my mind. Later that afternoon I had the opportunity to join a quilting group that was here for the week and although my to-do list told me you can’t – my peace filled heart said follow this thread. So I cut up my fabric into panels and with great abandon began quilting these small wall hangings. It was so wonderful to work with no plan, no agenda just tugging on the thread of peace that I had be given to see where it took me. It took me quite far – today here are two of the pieces I made this week. I’ll share more of what I did in future posts. PEACE BE – BE PEACE