An Artist's Quest


195.gingkoI was visiting my folks this week my dad has had some health issues lately and is in a tippy spot of limbo waiting to get an appointment at the UC Davis Cancer Center. The not knowing is hard and knowing is hard and limbo is hard. I went up to add a bit of cheer and to change the flow of their days a bit (I only fell into a baby of the family rant once when the back seat driving was getting overwhelming). My cousin was visiting too so there was some good distraction and lots of chitchat. I of course could offer my dear dad no wisdom. I did offer a stale “one day at a time” mantra which is all well and good in theory but when one is standing on a tightrope in the wind holding a big umbrella.. well it’s not so easy to do. So on my long drive home I had a while to ponder what could I do? Truth be told there’s not much to do but be present, to listen, to be real, to be true. And so I thought perhaps the “one day at a time” mantra isn’t so trite but I think it needs to be fleshed out a bit to be useful. About a month ago a friend of mine took a facebook challenge to list 3 good things each day for 5 days and to tag five people to do the same. She tagged me. I thought it was a fine idea but I didn’t have time.   What no time to notice 3 good things!? I put the idea in my notebook to use someday but didn’t actually list 3 things when I wrote the idea down… I know what you’re thinking, “what does this have to do with her dad?” and “what about the one day at a time thing?”.  Well on that car ride home I started thinking again about the 3 things and about today is today and tomorrow is tomorrow. I think when we are young we don’t think about mortality at all it doesn’t factor into our thoughts. As we grow older we push it aside and figure we’ll think about it later but the truth is there are not guarantees….we don’t get an expiration date stamped on our wrists when we’re born, I’ve had lot’s of friends die before their time. But that’s just it we don’t have a time – it just is, for all of us. So taking today- today, marking the wonders of today now does seem like a wise way to live, and not just when we are standing on a tight rope in the wind with an umbrella in our hands but also when our feet are planted firmly on the ground the sun on our faces the breeze at our backs. So here I go with my expanded version of 3 fine things about today:

  1. What I learned today: I learned that my Daddy’s hug as I left him today was as strong and comforting today as when I was a child and as strong and comforting as the day I left for college 30 years ago, the same as on my wedding day 20 years ago, and the same as at the funeral of a close friend 11 years ago, I learned today is today and today is good.
  2. What did I see that surprised me today: I saw a bright butterfly shaped kite with it’s string tangled in a tree but flying gaily just the same waving brightly at the traffic rushing by. That kite wasn’t worrying about tomorrow because today it was flying and today is good.
  3. What made me smile today: My little dog Lucky made me smile today as I returned home- her tail wagging fiercely to greet me as she leaned strategically off the edge of the couch to give me a kiss. Lucky is always in today –tomorrow has no meaning, today is today and today is goood.

So here it is – today is today, today is good – tomorrow is tomorrow – that’s all it’s ever been and that’s all it will ever be.


6 responses

  1. Pat Moore

    Thanks Lisa. You are right on. I think living with an awareness of death helps us to be fully present to the now. The today. Not morbidly fixated on death but aware. Death and life. They are inseparable.
    Loved your three things. Glad you took the time.

    October 10, 2014 at 9:00 pm

  2. Beautiful reflection to start the day. Each day is precious and needs to be lived fully with love and gratefulness. Thank you Lisa!

    October 11, 2014 at 4:26 am

  3. Mary Thorpe

    Your presents is the perfect present. …and who would have guessed Lucky is so wise. 😌

    October 11, 2014 at 3:12 pm

  4. Jeanette Bernard

    Dear Lisa, Again I’m appreciative of your sharing what’s important to you and very personal about your family. I’m sad and concerned to hear of your dad’s heath concern. I trust a good, successful remedy will be found. I also agree with you that not knowing and being in limbo is difficult and trying especially when someone we love and care bout so deeply is the focal point. Keep your faith and be strong in the Lord. I’ll pray for all of you. Love, Jeanette

    October 11, 2014 at 9:44 pm

  5. Mary Anne

    While tough to do, living one day at a time removes a lot of the anxiety we face when we race ahead of ourselves. Another tough but true maxim is “let go and let God.” People like me who enjoy controlling our lives tend to think we are doing God a favor taking care of everything including the future. Limbo is the worst environment in which to live but relying on your faith minute by minute can get you through anything even facing the inevitable fact of our mortality. You and your family are in my prayers.

    October 12, 2014 at 4:48 am

  6. Anne R. Blanton

    Ah, beautiful words dear Lisa-life and all it brings… Praying for your Dad and all of you. Today is today and the sun shines bright on the holly tree, the rooster crows its canticle. Today in our earthly paradise. anne

    October 12, 2014 at 9:09 am

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in: Logo

You are commenting using your account. Log Out /  Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )


Connecting to %s