As simple as breathing…..OM to OOPS nine times out of ten

The images are monoprints on fabric then quilted

Breathe in breathe out, mind clear, body relaxed, onions, sandwich bread, yogurt…OOPS, breathe in breathe out, mind clear, body relaxed, after work I’ll drive too… Oops….and so goes my meditation practice.  I try, that’s something and sometimes I hit a zone that tells me I want to keep at it. I know I’m not the only one so if anyone out there has some good tips or resources for us mediocre meditators I would be happy to hear from you.  And while I can’t always seem to keep my mind clear for more than 30 seconds I seem to keep coming back to it in practice and in art.  For the past six months I have been working with the same theme of breath and presence (see past posts:  post 11/30/12  &  post 3/8/13).  I have cycled back around this spring with the same image in a different medium, fabric.  For those of you following my progress you know I’ve been doing some art quilting so it came to me that I could monoprint on fabric just as well as paper then quilt the pieces.  I spent some time experimenting with this idea on these pieces. Then I decided to make a large stencil of the seated figure and use some of the fabric I marbled (post 3/15/12) to play with the idea of breath and the fluid nature of the meditative exercise.  I like where this work is going and the combining of materials and mediums…and so even if my meditation is meandering then my art keeps reminding me to simply breathe.

Figure is made using stencils on fabric I marbled.

Figure is made using stencils on fabric the background is fabric I marbled.

Figure and background use fabric I marbled

As requested by you dear readers I have had the cards made of the breathe images.  They are post card style but the back is nearly  blank (with some artist info).  I am selling them for $15 for a pack of 12 cards (two of each of the six images), the fabric pieces are also for sale follow the link to see  more breathe banners.

Cards made from meditation monoprints

One Day

“Til the Cows Come Home” drawn on my iPad

One day – a whole unit neatly marked by sunrise and sunset, by mockingbird and great horned owl.  One day to work and rest and play. One day to be who we need, want, hope to be. One day to bow and remember, acknowledge and honor. One day – One day – One day.

I was inspired this week by a poem I found (below) on a new app I found from the Poetry Foundation. You can load it on your smart phone or tablet and spin it like a slot machine at the casino, but without the smoke and shabby sense of shame, and instead of a row of cherries and coins you hit the jackpot every time with a poem to read!  Check it out, take a spin you might be inspired too http://www.poetryfoundation.org/mobile/

One Day -By Robert Creele

One day after another—

Perfect.

They all fit.

Home & Disappointment

quilted fabric wall hanging

Well this week has been a bit rough for my little family. My son Ivan, who is 16, applied this winter to the Untied World College.  The UWC, if you haven’t heard of it, is a two-year international program.  Students from all over the world are chosen to get a full scholarship to study together, collaborate together, live together all with the aim of creating world peace one person at a time. My son and 119 other kids in the USA were chosen out of 600 applicants for an interview. Of the 120 kids interviewed 50 were chosen.  We found out this week that our wonderful, generous, smart, delightful son was not chosen.  Of course all of us who know and love him from Bishop Marc of the Diocese of California to his loving grandparents and everyone in between thought Ivan was a shoe in.  But of course the other 119 kids who were interviewed had family and friend just as sure of their place in this wonderful international adventure.  And so my sweet son’s heart is a little broken and of course my heart is a little broken for him. I know in my intellectual self that rejection is not failure, and that trying is important. I also know that other doors will open and other adventures await; but this week none of that is available to the 16 year old heart. My heart was pinched as well to feel his hurt but also by a little note at the end of the rejection email.  The letter stated that there are a few spots left at the Wales campus (his first choice) for those who applied and who can pay $60,000.  Both he and I know that is not possible but a surge of guilt for this non-profit life my husband and I have chosen reared up and grabbed me by the throat.  We have lived a wonderful life at The Bishop’s Ranch in a beautiful place with wonderful people.  This has been a dream job for my gregarious, extroverted talented husband, a wonderful place for me to grow my art and my audience and of course a sweeping open place for our son to grow up.  But here we are at the launching place for him and we have very little in our bank account to show for it. The little devil on my shoulder is whispering in my ear that I have failed him, that in my own selfish pursuits of creative living I am keeping him from his dreams. That red-tailed whisperer reminds me that my own parents worked tirelessly at things they didn’t love to make sure my siblings and I could go to college and provide us with opportunities to flourish.  Of course I know what you are thinking my little angels out there, you and the white winged messenger on my other shoulder are whispering, “Lisa you have provided Ivan with a creative environment to live and grow and flourish and he will find his way”.  I know this to be true but still my throat is clenching and my eyes welling with tears as I listen to the dueling voices in my head.

The good news in all this (I guess this is selfish too) is  I get to have my son home for one more year while he completes his senior year of high school. I cannot open all the doors for him that I wish I could, and I know there are other disappointments ahead, but success and accomplishments await too. Through it all my husband and I will be his home, his comfy chair, his warm hug and always his biggest fans.  GO IVAN!

I worked on this quilted fabric chair piece this week at quilt retreat here at the Ranch.  I used self-made stencils to create the chair pattern for machine appliqué and for the painted details.  I’ll put this on my website soon.

Seduction: ready to get a little dirty

This Ode to Asparagus is an homage to my first ever harvest of these slim shapely beauties!

Friday’s are typically my one “free day” no teaching, no class I’m taking, I try not to schedule meetings, I like to be in my studio (not withstanding the computer time doing the blog) anyhow it’s a relief to not be scheduled.  I tend to be very productive on Fridays it’s a day to explore and let my ideas wander where they will. So today my thoughts are wandering to my garden, and that’s the beauty of a “free day” I CAN wander. Yesterday I taught watercolor painting to second graders until 2:30 then did a collage workshop with a women’s group that is on retreat at the Ranch from 3:30-5:30, tomorrow I corralling group of 17 mixed age kids for the morning for a Ranch group, then volunteering in the afternoon for a preschool event where I am on the board…Sunday I lead an all day encaustic collage workshop – so you see this really is my one “free day”.  That long litany is to say today I am going to follow my bliss.  The warm, lengthening days and the racks of vegetable starts outside of every store from the local grocery to the hardware store is compelling me to get a little dirty today.  I have harvested my worm castings from my worm bin, I have made a vague plan for plant starts to buy, but I am easily swayed by the rakes of plants at Harmony Farms.  Today, this one free day, I am ready to be seduced, and more than willing to get down and dirty…garden here I come!

This triptych is one I did of my first ever asparagus.  I planted these last fall.  Everyone warned me that I wouldn’t get anything to eat for a couple of years but these little babies were full of surprise!  The warm days are leading them to bolt but my they were tasty (if tiny) and I look forward to next years bounty!

Singing at the Threshold

Aging Apple Tree in Bloom

I took a walk this morning with my dog Lucky.  My goal was to exercise the dog and myself and get on with my day, but as I powered through the antique apple orchard here on the back property the floating petals of the apple blooms had other ideas for me.  I hadn’t even noticed the blooms on the trees, my eyes so intent on the path that had it not been for the delicate petals pasted to the muddy path I might have barreled through without looking at all.  But the petals persisted so I stopped, turned off the music in my iPod, and looked and listened to the ancient wisdom of the trees and the birds.  The bird chorus was dazzling, each species of bird greeting the day and praising the beauty of the apple blossoms with their own song, some sweet and lilting some bold and commanding.  The old apple trees are nearly a century old, gnarled and twisted, broken and worn, but still coursing with the same old desires to burst forth from the long bare winter dressed in such finery that even Downtown Abby’s Dowager would cluck her approval.  These old ladies of the orchard know how to put on a show.  Soon the white will turn to green as the pattern of life and destiny wind around another year.  These old branches will shelter and feed the chattering birds that flit about the orchard fulfilling their own cycle, true to their own destiny.

While observing these gracious trees I can’t help but think of the human journey, the patterns of fallow, blossom and fruit that run through our lives like a twisting river that wends it way through the river valley, curving to touch the east and west hills but ever flowing to it’s final destination – the sea.  This week, here at The Bishop’s Ranch, we are honored to host the Threshold Choir.  Threshold Choir has chapters all over the country and is growing internationally as well.  Their mission is to sing at the bedsides of those at the threshold of life, those who are terminally ill; they bring comfort, company, and caring through song.  Here at the Ranch representatives from various chapters come to share, and renew and bring back that renewal to their chapters. We are honored to have them among us.  I bring them up because they seem to me to be like the birds in the ancient apple orchard, singing the journey on its way with a lilting song of praise, comfort and joy.

Apple Blossom

I was gratified to learn this week from a women at the conference that someone in her chapter found out about Threshold Choir through one of my past blog posts.  It is wonderful to know that I may have played a small part in someone’s journey thank you for sharing. Link to Threshold Choir

my walking companion, Lucky

Stop and Smell the Daffodils

Daffodil, Northern California’s harbinger of Spring

Spring has officially sprung, Happy Vernal Equinox to you all (a few days late).  While the daffodils have been blooming here in Northern California for a month or so it doesn’t really feel like spring until the time change gives us a longer evening, time to poke around the yard or the neighborhood.  Spring is full of hope and expectation, pondering what to plant in the garden or anticipating the opening of your local farmers market.  We start thinking about asparagus and snow peas -  enough of the butternut squash!  The length of the day the lightness of the air all combines to lift the spirit in this wondrous cycle of seasons, thank goodness for the this earthly change of attitude to remind us once again that the darkness leads to light, the frost struck morning turns to balmy spring evening, all praise the orbit of the earth around the sun, Spring is here!

The Lovely Calla Lily

These three pieces were drawn on my iPad three odes to Spring, Cala Lily, Daffodil and a white daffodil sized flower that I would like to know the name of…anybody?

White Frilly Daffodil, the inside cup is like a petticoat, anybody know the name?

Playtime

My cache of freshly marbled fabric!

For months I’ve wanted to try out a fabric marbling technique that I read about.  I got all the materials I needed and there it sat.  I couldn’t carve enough time out, another stumbling block was the fact that to do the fabric marbling the fabric had to be soaked and dried ahead and a thickener needed to be mixed and rest for 24 hours.  So when I did have the time I hadn’t done the prep and so it went for months.  But this week I got it together and had a great time.  It’s a fascinating process where you drip colors onto thickened water and the color spreads in radiating circles, then you add more color and more.  There is very little control (at least in this novice foray) and I liked that.  Letting go control and expectations was liberating.  I wasn’t doing this for work or a magazine article or even any specific end goal, it was pure play and it felt good.  I love, love, love the fabrics I came up with.  I loved it so much that that evening I went on-line to order a bigger tray to work with so that I could make bigger swaths of fabric.  The tray I had was 14” x 22” so that is the size of each fabric piece.

closeup view

Although I didn’t have a goal in mind, after I printed my fabric I was inspired to make something with it.  My excitement over the fabric combined with the spring weather and time change to longer days motivated me to make myself something wearable.  So this blouse is what came of it!  It’s been a long time since I sewed something for myself, and I love how this came out.  It was a week with pockets of play and I’m looking forward to more like it.  So give yourself some time to play.

Here is the blouse I made by sewing strips of my marbled fabric

Breathe

Brevity is beauty sometimes, tiny beautiful moments.

breathe in - hello moment

breathe out – i am here

breathe in – hello moment

breathe out – i am here

breathe in – hello moment

breathe out – i am here

breathe in – hello moment

breathe out – i am here

breathe in – hello moment

breathe out – i am here

Procrastinating

Commission piece, 3 generations and their pony pictures. 24″x12″ Encaustic encased collage.

For about a month I’ve been working on a commission or really mostly not working on a commission.  A woman who has bought some of my small encaustic collage pieces over the years asked me to do a piece using her family photos.  I accepted the commission and we talked a bit about what she likes about my work and size and price etc.  For about 2 weeks I just had the photos propped up on my studio desk.  These happy pony-riding faces stared back at me, but I struggled to get started.  I use old photos in my collages all the time, usually I don’t know the people, they are just found photos, lost photos, abandoned photos, photos that I am drawn to, photos that are asking me to give them life and put them into my art.  But now I had photos that had their own story and a client that held these people in her heart, this made me shy to impose my story on them. Of course the person who commissioned the piece wanted me to do something like the pieces she admired, that’s why she had me doing this…..well you can see why I was spinning and procrastinating. But last week I got down to business pulled out my portfolio of papers and box of ephemera and started laying things out stitching, gluing and waxing.  When I was done I was pleased and of course I need to be pleased but really she needs to be pleased.  So as I waited for her to arrive I paced my studio.  This is a tricky situation, what if she doesn’t like it? What about getting paid for my time? all this is has me spinning again, but as soon as she saw the piece she let out an excited gasp, I knew the story I had woven through her real life story worked….and once again I was reminded to trust myself, do what I do best, take the puzzle and make art, tell a story.

Here are three small pieces I did while I wasn’t doing the commission.

Encaustic Collage using images from old art book. 8×10″

Encaustic collage using old art book images. 8×12″

Opening Night and Salon

Me at the opening last night next to my self portrait in fabric.

Quilted Quail, on of the twelve iPad drawings printed on fabric then embellished with stitch.

Last night my solo show titled Zig, Zag: The Back and Forth Between Traditional and Modern opened at Gallery 1055 in San Francisco.  The gallery is really  the hallways of the offices of Bishop Marc Andres (Bishop of California for the Episcopal church).  That said, Bishop Marc has made it a priority to show and share art and I applaud that notion.  He and his staff hosted the evening and he assembled an art salon in his office, asking me questions about my process and motivation and sharing stories and ideas as well with the assembled visitors.  It was a lovely evening with a lovely group of people and I am grateful for the opportunity to share and show my art. Follow the links below to see some of the pieces from the show.

Bishop Marc led a lovely art salon in his office to cap off the evening.

The pieces there are from my iPad work with twelve fabric pieces (works on fabric) and twelve pieces printed on metal (works on metal).  Here is a link to show info